Endure the sun

Crushing weights are pressing down
The piercing, biting sharpened crown
The memory of a broken heart
Strewn fragments, each a hundred parts
I see smiles that used to shine
I see memories that aren’t quite mine.
The beams that weigh a thousand tons
Press hard on me, in scorching sun
I am looking ahead, past this load
To the promised, precious, shining gold.
But it is that one true hope that cuts
Into the soul that seems to put
Each day into a wrestling fighting bout
And still I find faith in each doubt.
Until I see what was not to be
I see what it all meant to me
And throwing self upon other Selves
I laugh and resound the ringing bells.
I pray and ask for faith and grace
I ask that He remove that taste.
But no, twas not the prayer to grant
And so, I will still continue to pant
And wait for that which may never come
And pray for faith to endure the sun. 

"Put on sackcloth and lament, O priests;
wail, O ministers of the altar.
Go in, pass the night in sackcloth,
O ministers of my God!
Because grain offering and drink offering
are withheld from the house of your God.
Consecrate a fast;
call a solemn assembly.
Gather the elders
and all the inhabitants of the land
to the house of the LORD your God,
and cry out to the LORD."

"Strengthen the weak hands,
and make firm the feeble knees.
Say to those who have an anxious heart,
“Be strong; fear not!
Behold, your God
will come with vengeance,
with the recompense of God.
He will come and save you."

Bob Dylan’s Everything is Broken (1989)

Broken lines, broken strings
Broken threads, broken springs
Broken idols, broken heads
People sleeping in broken beds
Ain’t no use jiving
Ain’t no use joking
Everything is broken

Broken bottles, broken plates
Broken switches, broken gates
Broken dishes, broken parts
Streets are filled with broken hearts
Broken words never meant to be spoken
Everything is broken

Seem like every time you stop and turn around
Something else just hit the ground

Broken cutters, broken saws
Broken buckles, broken laws
Broken bodies, broken bones
Broken voices on broken phones
Take a deep breath, feel like you’re chokin’
Everything is broken

Every time you leave and go off someplace
Things fall to pieces in my face

Broken hands on broken ploughs
Broken treaties, broken vows
Broken pipes, broken tools
People bending broken rules
Hound dog howling, bullfrog croaking
Everything is broken

"We are treated as…sorrowful, yet always rejoicing"

Today was the last day

And one of those days where you think, God opens a window, throws you a rope and shines some light on you.

And then, your rope turns out to be a snake, and rain floods in from the window, but still, God is there. End already, 2011.

Unpleasant exchange today, and the mercy for it

I had a rather unpleasant experience this evening which showed me a few things:

• as Annie put it really well in her testimony- people are messed up, and they continue to be messed up, even if they profess with their lips to be Christians.
• there really are all kinds of people who claim to be Christians, but Jesus was absolutely right when He said firstly, “by their fruit you shall know them” and “not all who call me ‘Lord, Lord’ are mine”
• it takes the Holy Spirit of God to save a sinner like me and keep me saved, and to help me continually overcome self-righteousness, arrogance, pride, bitterness
• I am woefully weak in my tolerance to opposition, and too easily affected by what others say. The words of Peter and James are good for me, and I stand rebuked - ‘consider it joy when you suffer for Christ’s sake,’ and ‘why are you surprised when the world persecutes you?’
• prayer is the secret fuel to anything that we do with words or actions. If we have not cried out to God in dependence, we have not relied primarily on God’s strength
• we need to pray for the lost and the lost hiding among the sheep. There are so many of them. While we should surely pray for the light of Christ to find them where they hide so that their sins may be exposed, perhaps we should also pray that God lovingly show them that they frankly, are not born again into Jesus Christ.

Finally, after tonight’s events, this the big question on my mind: do I have to have the right to say something is wrong if it is wrong, or is the act of you pointing out your right to individual choice just a smokescreen to hide the fact that it’s wrong? Or again, if the action you commit is wrong, must I have the right to point out it’s wrong for it to be truly wrong, or do I have to know you well enough to say it? We live in an era where people use their individual rights and freedom of expression in order to mask their blatant errors and hide their defective character. What an insidious and dangerous world we live in.

I pray that by God’s grace, in my actions, I have upheld the Word of Christ in Eph 4:1 “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” (Ephesians 4:1-3 ESV) or again, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” (Ephesians 4:29 ESV) Surely Eph 4:29 is a must-memorize verse for those who struggle with online communications. 

These really are evil days, when the world looks like the church and so much of the church looks like the world. “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” (Ephesians 5:15-17 ESV) Oh, how we need the wisdom of God to make us like Christ Jesus. 

This then, is what we must surely do: “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might.” (Ephesians 6:10 ESV)

—-

Heavenly Father, as I come before You at the end of this day, I thank You for Your mercies which have sustained me through this day. I remember that Your Word is truth and the sum of Your Word is the rule by which we are to live our lives. I reconsecrate myself to You in obedience to You. I confess that I struggle with pride and self-righteousness, and I have judged others with the plank in my eye while I gawk the speck in others’. I have not acted wisely, and I have trusted in my own strength, failing to see that in Christ Jesus I have all things needed for life and godliness. I have not called upon Your resources for wisdom and strength, and I confess my lack of dependence upon You, Holy Spirit. Forgive me for Jesus’ sake and have mercy upon me. I thank You for the work of Your Son, who in the garden fought against pride and idolatry and prayed, “Not my will but Yours be done”, thereby fighting idolatry and winning on my behalf. I thank You that in the Great Exchange of the gospel, by faith, we can rest upon His finished work in our place. I pray for my brother with whom I had the exchange this evening and I ask that in his life, Your will be done. Most of all, Lord, have mercy upon him and open his eyes to the sinfulness of his heart and the wretchedness of his life. Show him his foul speech, his retaliatory ways, his prideful attitude and bitter condition of soul. I ask that you do a work in his life to draw him to You, that he may find in You, hope and health and salvation and all his good. I pray that You continue to satisfy me with Yourself, and that You cause me to change and become more like Jesus. Strengthen me to be faithful to You and help me not to bruise quite so easily, but instead, be tougher for Your service. Help me to leave these thoughts behind, but to surrender them to You, for You are the Sovereign Lord and You will do as You deem fit, paying back those who sin against You what they need to, unless they by faith, turn to Jesus Christ for their salvation. I thank You for what YOu have taught me today, cause me to rest in You I pray. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Prayer against fear and anxiousness

Dear Father,

I come before You with arms outstretched, crying out for You to reassure me, to stabilize me, to centralize me, to anchor me in Yourself. You are the Rock, the Solid Ground, the Firm Foundation, the Eternal One, and the Lover of my soul who has sworn to be faithful to those who  are the children of faith, who throw themselves upon You, and cry out for Your mercies. My heart is anxious and full of worry and anxiety. It seems like circumstances around me are too challenging, too massive, too diverse, too problematic, too sabotaged, and too doomed for failure and impotence. I worry that none of these will succeed, and that none of these will count for anything of eternal value. I feel motivation-less, and also as if these things don’t matter any way. But Lord, You have called me to serve where I am. You have called me to be the way that I am. You have fashioned me uniquely according to Your purpose and plan, set apart in Christ Jesus for the good works that You want me to do. Your ways are true and good, and they will not fail because they serve Your agenda. O Lord, help me to see that these truths are more real than what seems real right now. Help my eyes to lock onto the Eternal God, invisible though You may be, and help me to not to shift away from You. Help me to see that though the heavens may pass away and the earth fade into nothingness, You O Lord, remain forever, and Your purposes are sure. 

Speaking of Father Abraham, Your word says, “That is why it depends on faith, in order that the promise may rest on grace and be guaranteed to all his offspring—not only to the adherent of the law but also to the one who shares the faith of Abraham, who is the father of us all,” (Romans 4:16 ESV) Cause me then to grow in faith, to grow in steadfast assurance that You are a Promise-Keeping God. Help my mind recall and reflect upon all the ways that You have been true and faithful, bringing forth life out of death again and again in my short life. You have drawn the stranger to Yourself in faith again and again, and daily, recreated spiritual life and more faith out of my weak and wretched soul. Yes Lord, You are the God “who gives life to the dead and calls into existence the things that do not exist.” (Romans 4:17 ESV) Who can question Your power and Your might? 

This is what it means to trust You - to see who You are, to meditate upon You, and to defeat unbelief and wavering in my mind about You. Cause me then to be like Abraham, O Lord, “No unbelief made him waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised.” (Romans 4:20-21 ESV) And You have promised so much. You have said that You will raise up Christ Jesus and draw all men to Him. You have said that You will never leave us nor forsake us, and that when we pray You hear it for Jesus’ sake. You have said that we have an inheritance that is eternal, imperishable, incorruptibe. You have said that You have set us apart for Yourself, and that You will be my God and I will be Your son. You have said that my sufferings will produce character and in character, ultimately hope. You have promised that Your Son will reign, and that in Him all things will be made new, because of the blood that He shed on Calvary. Make it so, Lord God, that I will be made new, that You will take away fear and anxiety. Take away this nagging discomfort and depressive feeling, make every thought of Christ be that of joy and delight in Him. O I pray it, in the strong name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Why you need sanctification

1. It will save you heartache when your sin rips your life apart

2. It will keep you from disaster, disgrace, desolation and damnation

3. It protects those you love from living a life of hell that you will bring them

4. It frees you to enjoy life as it was meant to be lived by admitting your limitations and God’s omnipotence- with God as God, not you as God

5. It kills the sin that God’s wrath is against, and draws you in sweeter communion with Christ

6. It liberates you from living a life of emptiness and purposelessness and enables you to pursue Christ-likeness and joy

7. It allows your life to be a theater for God’s transforming grace and the power of the Holy Spirit to be revealed for all to see

8. It opens your eyes to a clearer view of the world in categories of sin, holiness, grace and eternity and helps the world make better sense

9. It awakens your spiritual tastebuds to savoring the joy of knowing God’s favor and will through your Christlikeness

10. It unites you to thousands of others whose desire and delight it is to live for something bigger than themselves

11. It gives you the power to withstand human disappointment, heartbreak and frustration because your life operates according to another agenda than the world’s

12. It prepares you for a eternity that best suits human beings

13. It helps you become more fully human, as Christ was the perfect man

14. It keeps you from chasing after the emptiness of the world when you see through the fleeting illusions to the true meaning of life

15. It opens your eyes to see how amazing God really is in His holiness, and gives you more reasons to love and adore Him

Prayer for cheer

Father,

this morning I come to You with arms outstretched, needy and desperate thirsty for Your grace. You know the conflicts in my soul, You see everything that’s going on, that’s so hard to express. In Your word You say that You have already given everything necessary for life and godliness. Grant me faith to take hold of this promise, that all these things are mine in Christ. That because of His infinite righteousness and worthiness, He has fully secured my future and my hope. Help me to fully rest upon His promises, finding perfect peace and rest. Help me be stayed upon You, O great Jehovah, and find my heart fully blessed in Your promises. O Lord, there is no other need that I have except to dwell more closely with You. Grant to me sweet times in Your presence, hearing Your voice and listening to Your Word. Help me to do what I cannot do for myself, and do it for Your name’s sake. I desire for Your kingdom to be established in my life, and I know that You are changing and moulding me, even in these difficult circumstances You put me through. There is no crown without the Cross, and I pray that You would help me say with Paul, that I would seek to know Christ in His sufferings and the power of His resurrection. In His name I pray, Amen.