"Lord let me find Sin, Curse and Death that do
     Belong to me lie slain too in thy Grave.
And let thy law my clearing hence bestow
     And from these things let me acquittance have.
     The Law suffic’de: and I discharg’d, Hence sing
     Thy praise I will over Death’s Death, and Sin."

"Now what was the sort of “hole” man had got himself into? He had tried to set up his own, to behave as if he belonged to himself. In other words, fallen man is not simply an imperfect creature who needs improvement: he is a rebel who must lay down his arms. Laying down your arms, surrendering, saying you are sorry, realising that you have been on the wrong track and getting ready to start life over again from the ground floor - that is the only way out of a “hole”. This process of surrender…is what Christians call repentance. Now repentance is not fun at all."

"So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus."

Unpleasant exchange today, and the mercy for it

I had a rather unpleasant experience this evening which showed me a few things:

• as Annie put it really well in her testimony- people are messed up, and they continue to be messed up, even if they profess with their lips to be Christians.
• there really are all kinds of people who claim to be Christians, but Jesus was absolutely right when He said firstly, “by their fruit you shall know them” and “not all who call me ‘Lord, Lord’ are mine”
• it takes the Holy Spirit of God to save a sinner like me and keep me saved, and to help me continually overcome self-righteousness, arrogance, pride, bitterness
• I am woefully weak in my tolerance to opposition, and too easily affected by what others say. The words of Peter and James are good for me, and I stand rebuked - ‘consider it joy when you suffer for Christ’s sake,’ and ‘why are you surprised when the world persecutes you?’
• prayer is the secret fuel to anything that we do with words or actions. If we have not cried out to God in dependence, we have not relied primarily on God’s strength
• we need to pray for the lost and the lost hiding among the sheep. There are so many of them. While we should surely pray for the light of Christ to find them where they hide so that their sins may be exposed, perhaps we should also pray that God lovingly show them that they frankly, are not born again into Jesus Christ.

Finally, after tonight’s events, this the big question on my mind: do I have to have the right to say something is wrong if it is wrong, or is the act of you pointing out your right to individual choice just a smokescreen to hide the fact that it’s wrong? Or again, if the action you commit is wrong, must I have the right to point out it’s wrong for it to be truly wrong, or do I have to know you well enough to say it? We live in an era where people use their individual rights and freedom of expression in order to mask their blatant errors and hide their defective character. What an insidious and dangerous world we live in.

I pray that by God’s grace, in my actions, I have upheld the Word of Christ in Eph 4:1 “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” (Ephesians 4:1-3 ESV) or again, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” (Ephesians 4:29 ESV) Surely Eph 4:29 is a must-memorize verse for those who struggle with online communications. 

These really are evil days, when the world looks like the church and so much of the church looks like the world. “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” (Ephesians 5:15-17 ESV) Oh, how we need the wisdom of God to make us like Christ Jesus. 

This then, is what we must surely do: “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might.” (Ephesians 6:10 ESV)

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Heavenly Father, as I come before You at the end of this day, I thank You for Your mercies which have sustained me through this day. I remember that Your Word is truth and the sum of Your Word is the rule by which we are to live our lives. I reconsecrate myself to You in obedience to You. I confess that I struggle with pride and self-righteousness, and I have judged others with the plank in my eye while I gawk the speck in others’. I have not acted wisely, and I have trusted in my own strength, failing to see that in Christ Jesus I have all things needed for life and godliness. I have not called upon Your resources for wisdom and strength, and I confess my lack of dependence upon You, Holy Spirit. Forgive me for Jesus’ sake and have mercy upon me. I thank You for the work of Your Son, who in the garden fought against pride and idolatry and prayed, “Not my will but Yours be done”, thereby fighting idolatry and winning on my behalf. I thank You that in the Great Exchange of the gospel, by faith, we can rest upon His finished work in our place. I pray for my brother with whom I had the exchange this evening and I ask that in his life, Your will be done. Most of all, Lord, have mercy upon him and open his eyes to the sinfulness of his heart and the wretchedness of his life. Show him his foul speech, his retaliatory ways, his prideful attitude and bitter condition of soul. I ask that you do a work in his life to draw him to You, that he may find in You, hope and health and salvation and all his good. I pray that You continue to satisfy me with Yourself, and that You cause me to change and become more like Jesus. Strengthen me to be faithful to You and help me not to bruise quite so easily, but instead, be tougher for Your service. Help me to leave these thoughts behind, but to surrender them to You, for You are the Sovereign Lord and You will do as You deem fit, paying back those who sin against You what they need to, unless they by faith, turn to Jesus Christ for their salvation. I thank You for what YOu have taught me today, cause me to rest in You I pray. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Prayer of repentance from Joel 1:13-14

O Lord God,

I come before tonight in prayer and supplication, asking for your mercies upon Your people, the people that You have redeemed for Yourself, through the saving work of Your Eternal Son, Jesus Christ. O Father, I come before in lamentation, as one of the priests that You have made me according to Your holy gospel. In Your perfect plan, You set apart for Yourself, men from every nation to be a new holy nations of priests to You. So I come, praying and wailing before You as Your Word commands in Joel 1. I come in the night, at the close of the day, remembering the many sins of the people and seeing their faithlessness, my own included, against You and Your new covenant. We have withheld worship and praise of Your holy name, trading them instead for the worship of created things, and failing to worship the Creator who is worthy to be praised forever! Amen. We have not loved You with all our hearts and souls and minds and strength. So many fail to even enter Your house and join with Your people. In our rebellion, we have closed ourselves off to one another, Your holy house, and we have not loved one another as we should. We have withheld the praise and the worship that is fitting for Your people,  we have withheld the obedient lives of mutual love that is appropriate for Your people. O Father, I come in consecration and solemness, help me to gather brothers and sisters in repentant prayer and remorseful supplication for our church. I pray that You will help me to cry out to You with Your people, to gather the different leaders and call a solemn assembly. Help us to be a repenting people, a people who see their sins and weep for them. O Father, help us to pray for our church, for the sinners that make up her full number. We come before You asking You, Holy Spirit to do a consecration, drawing, assembling work. Draw people whose hearts are set on You to come together and pray, that through prayer we may unleash Your power in the world. Lord, Your Word says that when we pray together and when we pray in Your name, whatever we bind on earth is bound in heaven and whatever is released on earth is released in heaven. So I pray that You help to assemble such prayer warriors, who will, through their faithful prayers, rain down all of heaven’s richest blessings upon the church, and beg You, Holy Spirit, to do a reviving, transforming work amongst Your precious people. We think of the church as the bride that You love and gave Your life for, O Lord Jesus. You loved her so much that You were willing to die for her. No greater love is there than that, that You should show us how to love - not that we first loved You, but that You first loved us, and became the propitiation for our sins. We pray that because of Your work in Jesus Christ, will You vindicate Your holy name and Your people, that we may be seen to be the true temple of God, and that Your holy presence is indeed seen to be with us. We pray and ask it desperately in the mighty name of Jesus, Amen.

Bob Dylan’s Everything is Broken (1989)

Broken lines, broken strings
Broken threads, broken springs
Broken idols, broken heads
People sleeping in broken beds
Ain’t no use jiving
Ain’t no use joking
Everything is broken

Broken bottles, broken plates
Broken switches, broken gates
Broken dishes, broken parts
Streets are filled with broken hearts
Broken words never meant to be spoken
Everything is broken

Seem like every time you stop and turn around
Something else just hit the ground

Broken cutters, broken saws
Broken buckles, broken laws
Broken bodies, broken bones
Broken voices on broken phones
Take a deep breath, feel like you’re chokin’
Everything is broken

Every time you leave and go off someplace
Things fall to pieces in my face

Broken hands on broken ploughs
Broken treaties, broken vows
Broken pipes, broken tools
People bending broken rules
Hound dog howling, bullfrog croaking
Everything is broken

My respectable sins

Impatient, cruel, possessive, dissatisfied, self-centered, judgmental, proud, restless, arrogant, petty, intolerant, dishonest, defensive, ungrateful, irritable, ungodly, worldly, aloof, feeling superior, foul-mouthed, unreasonable, vengeful, bitter.  

Idolatry: making gods

“And he received the gold from their hand and fashioned it with a graving tool and made a golden calf. And they said, “These are your gods, O Israel, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt!” (Exodus 32:4 ESV)

“And the man Micah had a shrine, and he made an ephod and household gods, and ordained one of his sons, who became his priest.” (Judges 17:5 ESV)

“So the king took counsel and made two calves of gold. And he said to the people, “You have gone up to Jerusalem long enough. Behold your gods, O Israel, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt.” (1 Kings 12:28 ESV)

“But every nation still made gods of its own and put them in the shrines of the high places that the Samaritans had made, every nation in the cities in which they lived.” (2 Kings 17:29 ESV)

“For great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised, and he is to be feared above all gods.” (1 Chronicles 16:25-26 ESV)

“For all the gods of the peoples are worthless idols,
but the LORD made the heavens.
Splendor and majesty are before him;
strength and beauty are in his sanctuary.” (Psalm 96:5-6 ESV)

“And you see and hear that not only in Ephesus but in almost all of Asia this Paul has persuaded and turned away a great many people, saying that gods made with hands are not gods.” (Acts 19:26 ESV)

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The Sickness Unto Death by Soren Kierkegaard (http://www.religion-online.org/showbook.asp?title=2067)